WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH MY MARRIAGE

Problems and marriage have become synonymous especially in the recent times.  If you are a fun of the morning show on Classic 101 FM hosted by Maina Kageni and Mwalimu Kingangi or even the “Bursted show” by Ciku, then you know what I am talking about.  From the outset you would think Maina Kageni is a marriage counselor. I am not against it; in fact, one can’t really blame couples for downloading their marriage/relationship squabbles on National radio. 

 First Lets just be honest, Maina Kageni is a very good listener, you can be telling him about how you died and resurrected and he goes, yeah, yes, what? ‘Haiya’ plus Mwalimu is just downright funny, like Baba Jimmy, he can make you laugh at your own misfortune. Ciku on the other hand is so good at bursting cheaters; she can even burst you for trying to steal your own things.

Secondly it’s on radio; it’s not like one can see who’s on the other end. Thirdly most people don’t like paying for counseling services, they would rather not speak to each other at all than speak to each other through a relationship counselor, plus it’s generally not Kenyan culture to pay to speak to someone unless it is a medical doctor and one is dying. 

In a society like ours women would rather share their experiences at the salon and men go drink themselves self to death or catch some comfort with their ‘Mpango Wa Kando’ (MWK). The other day I even heard some guy say that, MWK is in the Constitution.  What! Being a lawyer I thought my Copy of the constitution was missing some Articles. But that’s topic for another day.

Let’s start from the beginning; regardless of the religion you follow, one of the most ‘trending’ beliefs in the world is that of the sanctity of marriage. Marriage was instituted by God. He made the Man and then took out one of his ribs and made a woman. The bible doesn’t tell us whether God explained to the man how  He made the woman, but all we know is that, when Adam took a look  at her, He said this is (must be) the bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh. He knew she was ‘the one’, and the famous bible verse, “for this reason man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave into his wife: and they shall become one flesh,” comes thereafter. 

I know you have probably heard this a couple of times but it’s still the truth, you cannot ignore the manual instructions of an Item and expect it’s to serve you properly.  This is no different, marriage was instituted by God. It’s His creation, marriage is His intellectual property. He has a Patent on it. From a legal perspective, this means that reproduction of this property without His consent  is illegal and punishable by law. The only difference is that God won’t come and sue you; Besides He is the judge, the jury and the executioner. 

Currently there is a commercial by Communications Commission of Kenya (CCK) running on local TV stations on fake phones where several people claim to be some guy called ‘Mark Juma Mutambo’.  The part where this ‘chick’ sounds like a guy still haunts me. Those in agreement say I. The point CCK is trying to make here is, if you are using a fake phone, you might pay for criminal activities committed by someone using a phone with a similar IMEI number or something worse.

Something very common with fake products is the way they are packaged. In fact, one of the greatest marketing skills is to understand that people judge a book by its cover, so make the cover look good.  And makers of fake products know this. They make the product look exactly like the genuine one but the service you get is very poor, plus the product’s is short lived and can get you into trouble. 

Since creation we have invented our own types of marriages (arrangements) some based on lust, the pressure to give our parents grand children, to gain status in the society, unintended motherhood or fatherhood or some other good, bad or ugly reason.  Like the fake phones, we have made our own fake batteries and fake chargers to keep the marriage alive and working. The truth is Marriage was created by God and only He can sustain it. He is its author, its battery, its charger and its life.

Don’t be mistaken, I am not talking about a church marriage here, I know you are already prepared to dish me with a list of couples who got married in church and their marriage is falling if not already failed. The point I am trying to make here is, you cannot ignore God’s guide on relationships and marriage and have healthy relationships.  If you are looking for a good relationship, starting a new one, already in a great one or you are in tears, now you now know where and who to look to. God has interest in sustaining everything he created. He is Faithful; He never starts what He cannot finish.  He has very special interests in our relationships with each other as well as His relationship with us. You mention relationships and you have gotten His attention.  Lastly don’t die alone, talk to someone, we were created for each other.