YOU NEED TO KNOW PEOPLE

If you need to hear the latest gossip on the Deputy Chief Justice of Kenya Nancy Baraza and the now famous security guard madam kerubo, just say the above statement to any Kenyan and violà , you got your story. The context under which that phrase was used got the DCJ into trouble and as such I will subvert the use of that statement to a different context.

The saying that, “It's not what you know, it's who you know” is very common in our realist world. This statement is mainly common among job seekers and even business people. Your talents, abilities, and experience may never take you anywhere if nobody knows you exist. It is therefore crucial for one to understand the value of networking and to understand that fellow human beings are a vast resource. Life is so much easier if you know who to talk to on what issue.  There is no one who is self sustaining. Whether you are in school, looking for employment or doing business, it is paramount that one take  networking seriously and do it on purpose. In fact research has shown that Networking accounts for more than 60% of annual hires and has proven to be the best way to find a job or internship.

You can either network on purpose or randomly. Some have developed very good people skills and can network easily and randomly.  We all have people in our lives we really can’t tell how they got there.

Many people shy away from networking on purpose because of various reasons, some of these are stereo types associated with networking.  An article on Wiki-how records three major stereo types.

• Networking can seem insincere, pretentious, or even manipulative. And if that's what you're thinking, you're probably right... about some of it. There will always be people who judge others based on image and titles, but there are also people who want to build genuine, mutually beneficial relationships. You’re going to have to sift through the people you don't want to know to get to the people you do want to know.
•    You might think you're too shy or self-conscious to schmooze. Networking does require a degree of boldness, but with the advent of social networking sites, you can get to find others with similar interests and goals without being in a room full of people. Do not be afraid of meeting new people, some will like you, some will judge you, that’s life, not every relationship you start need to work.  The problem is that, “most people erroneously regard any failure as an accurate evaluation of their worth”- Theodore Bryant. A famous saying goes, "the worst thing we have to fear is fear itself."
•      Networking takes time and effort. Unless you're an extroverted person who thoroughly enjoys schmoozing, it can be exhausting. Why bother? Well, one way to think of it is to imagine how much time and frustration you would save if anything you wanted or needed was just one or two phone calls away.

There are many keys to better networking. I will mention a few of those I have learnt and I am sure we are all endowed with some level of creativity and come up with our own unique ways of networking.

  
  Be easy with small talk, invite people out for drinks or whatever interest you may have in common with the other person. The idea is to establish a connection beyond your initial meeting.

•  Learn to keep your already existing networks for example college mates, some of them may be your boss some day or come in handy when you are in need.
•   Diversify, associate with people from various fields, economics, law, medicine, banking inter alia
•   Remember to bring value in others, life is just not about you, networking is a two way street.  Create win-win situations. People will want to be part of your life because you add value to their lives, you can maintain your existing relationships if you can consistently bring value to those in your network.
•  Understand how to network with busy people. I have singled out this category because I think it is a special category.  A busy person simply cannot or will not give you serious slice of their attention without a good reason. Don’t presume you’re entitled to a response just because you took some action and reached out to the busy person. These people receive dozens of incoming communications per day so they aren’t trying to be rude, they are simply being effective.  As such if you resent such people for being busy and not responding to your communiqués promptly, you’re not going to become a very good networker, but instead respect them for setting priorities since they must triage in order to be effective and have a life. There is a whole article on “how to network with busy people” on www.stevepavlina.com.   I recommend anyone interested in learning how to network with busy people to read this article.
•  Know what you are looking for, not everyone is the ideal person to have in your network. Caution: don’t only think of the things that would benefit you, but think of what you have to offer to others. Be careful who you spend your time with, someone once told me, “there is no neutral person in your life, each one of them has a certain influence, negative or positive”  I usually say there are two dogs inside you, a black one, and a white one, whichever you feed is the one that grows. Again, be careful who you spend your time with.
•   Find out who knows whom, you may be surprised that the people around you know more than you think. I have found myself many times going, “what? You know that person? I have always wanted to meet them.”
•   Use your network to introduce people with similar interests; you may be surprised how in giving you get good measure.
•   Be proactive; don’t always wait for people to come to you, find ways to start conversations.
•   Be in the right places, Attend religious meetings, go for career meetings, business club meetings, sports etc.
•   Use the internet, I have reconnected with friends through social media than any other media. Social networking has evolved over the years to become a business networking tool as well. The MD Ipsos Synovate Kenya, Maggie Ireri speaking on the power of social media tweeted, "A brand is no longer what we tell the consumer it is – it is what consumers tell each other it is." Find blogs journals and professional organizations online. I wouldn’t have written this Article if it weren’t for the internet and you probably wouldn’t be reading it either.
•   Learn to follow up.
•   Personal development is crucial. Other people are also looking for networks and the more developed you are personally, the higher chances that other people are going to be interested in you.  Remember, most people will stay away from needy people; they will want to stay around people who also bring value to their lives.

 I cannot overstate the value of networking. I have personally benefited from my networks in very many ways. I have saved time and money and have had an easier time getting some things done. I don’t know everyone and I don’t need to, but whenever there is an opportunity I will establish a new network

I don’t believe that you always need to know people to get things going in your life; we have all met some ‘self made’ people and besides God has the ability to raise you from nothing. I however believe that God intended us to network, that is why he commands us to love one another. 

WHY KENYAN PECULIAR HABITS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR MONEY GONE BACK TO TREASURY

Just the other day, the minister responsible for finance in Kenya,  Messrs Njeru Githae  was shocked that many government ministries returned more than Ksh. 100 Billion which was left unspent. A big chunk of the unspent funds were meant for development expenditure.  According to Agnes Odhiambo  the controller of budget,  the major reasons for this include, weak financial controls, poor project planning, delays in procurement due to late release of funds by Ministry of Finance inter alia

If you Google ‘Kenyans peculiar habits’ or read the book “How to be Kenyan “ by Wahome Mutahi, you will be hypnotized at some of the things you will find out. If you are Kenyan you will probably reminisce at some of them. Some are endearing, some are hilarious and some are downright ugly. Some of the most popular include, bargaining for everything, punching people to get attention, over lapping, showing direction with the mouth, thinking that white is might, doing things on the last minute, using children as beggars, desire to be ordinary (Mwananchi wa kawaida) and even self appointed journalists taking videos with their phones.

I will tell you why some of these habits are responsible for the money that could have constructed the road to your village or built a clinic in your neighborhood or at least filled a few of those potholes on your way to Eastleigh but is now back to Treasury.  The sad part is Mr. Githae doesn’t really need that money. In fact, the money is now a nightmare because our big brothers (donors) are now threatening to withdraw some of those ‘allowances’ they give us. 

When I was a kid, my parents used to give us money to go and buy stuff. If you brought back change, you were considered a responsible kid. From then on, you became the new finance manager at home at least for a while before your dad discovered you really didn’t bring back all the change, you had used it to buy candy. The truth is some of these old habits die hard. Some ministers think that returning money is a sign of responsibility although we all know, even from the percentage of money that is claimed to have been returned, it wasn’t really returned in full.  Sadly, the consequences of returning the money are disastrous. His ministry may be allocated less funds come the next financial year and the same minister or his predecessor will be crying foul.

The last minute syndrome is a generally accepted culture among many Africans. We pay our bills on the d-day, we file our returns on the d-day, we trans-night so that we can do well in the exams the following day, of course I know this does not apply to everyone but a large majority of people. This bad culture cascades upwards even as people grow older and have more responsibilities. According to Controller of Budget Agnes Odhiambo, poor planning was one of the major reasons why such a large amount of money was returned. The ministries did not plan in time and time caught up with them and they were forced to return the money. She also mentions delays in procurements, late release of funds by treasury among others.

Corruption is a commonly used word in many Kenyan conversations. A famous columnist Margaret Carison said,“I realize that whatever amount of corruption I expose, half my readers will block it out, although they may get a frisson of joy in the process” I am sure Mohammed Ali (Jicho Pevu) would agree. We get fascinated and furious when corruption is exposed but lack the will to follow through the fight.  People in charge of these dockets don’t get treated in clinics, they don’t need free malaria drugs, nor do their daughters need free sanitary towels to stay in school. They are a bunch of greedy individuals who will spend their time acquiring more wealth and campaigning for the next elections to make sure they maintain the status quo, which in turn leaves them no time to plan a good development agenda for the country. Don't get me wrong, I don't believe leaders are to be  entirely blamed for this, I believe they are just a reflection of the society that elected them.

One of our other major issues as Kenyans, is belief that ‘white is might’. We have complete disregard for locally made products. We import everything. We eat, drink, wear, drive, sit on, drive on, and pee on imported products. Local manufactures are crying foul. We make laws and policies that promote everything imported at the expense of locally manufactured products. It is very difficult to have expedient procurement processes if we have to import all the labor, services and products needed. Our leaders should know that by promoting imported products and services because it is cheaper for the so called ordinarily ‘Mwananchi’ is a very shortsighted way of addressing issues. It may solve the problem temporarily but in the long run you are building a ‘dependant’ nation. There is a common saying that goes, give someone a fish and you will feed them for a day, teach them how to fish and you will feed them for the rest of their life.  

Phobia for writing a will is another major issue among many Kenyans. Majority of Kenyans don’t write a will. Everyone is scared of something, some are afraid of the dark, others of the light,others of death etc. Some fears are good others are just irrational. Currently the value of unclaimed assets in the state custody runs in billions. The state is rich just mostly lead by self serving individuals, The state doesn't  deserve to inherit your small estate. Succession cases in court are countless. Most people are scared of writing a will because they feel that by writing a will, one is inviting death. However,  Kenyans need to understand that by failing to write a will, you will be leaving your dependants in a den full of angry lions. You will not rest in peace if you leave your  dependants to pay for liabilities they didn’t even know existed, nor is there any joy in them losing property to greedy relatives because of your lack to distribute your estate properly.

If this country is to achieve the Kenyan dream, we need to critically look into some of these habits and start addressing them appropriately. We need to sieve them, keep the good ones (in any case that's what makes us unique) but loose those that do not build us. The last minute syndrome has to go. We need to start making policies that support the local industries; phobia for legal documents has to be addressed. Corruption, well let’s not even go there.  We need to lose some of these cultures and start making new ones that our children’s children can be proud of.

Bikram Choudhury said, “Never too old, never too bad, never too sick to start from scratch again.”

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH MY MARRIAGE

Problems and marriage have become synonymous especially in the recent times.  If you are a fun of the morning show on Classic 101 FM hosted by Maina Kageni and Mwalimu Kingangi or even the “Bursted show” by Ciku, then you know what I am talking about.  From the outset you would think Maina Kageni is a marriage counselor. I am not against it; in fact, one can’t really blame couples for downloading their marriage/relationship squabbles on National radio. 

 First Lets just be honest, Maina Kageni is a very good listener, you can be telling him about how you died and resurrected and he goes, yeah, yes, what? ‘Haiya’ plus Mwalimu is just downright funny, like Baba Jimmy, he can make you laugh at your own misfortune. Ciku on the other hand is so good at bursting cheaters; she can even burst you for trying to steal your own things.

Secondly it’s on radio; it’s not like one can see who’s on the other end. Thirdly most people don’t like paying for counseling services, they would rather not speak to each other at all than speak to each other through a relationship counselor, plus it’s generally not Kenyan culture to pay to speak to someone unless it is a medical doctor and one is dying. 

In a society like ours women would rather share their experiences at the salon and men go drink themselves self to death or catch some comfort with their ‘Mpango Wa Kando’ (MWK). The other day I even heard some guy say that, MWK is in the Constitution.  What! Being a lawyer I thought my Copy of the constitution was missing some Articles. But that’s topic for another day.

Let’s start from the beginning; regardless of the religion you follow, one of the most ‘trending’ beliefs in the world is that of the sanctity of marriage. Marriage was instituted by God. He made the Man and then took out one of his ribs and made a woman. The bible doesn’t tell us whether God explained to the man how  He made the woman, but all we know is that, when Adam took a look  at her, He said this is (must be) the bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh. He knew she was ‘the one’, and the famous bible verse, “for this reason man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave into his wife: and they shall become one flesh,” comes thereafter. 

I know you have probably heard this a couple of times but it’s still the truth, you cannot ignore the manual instructions of an Item and expect it’s to serve you properly.  This is no different, marriage was instituted by God. It’s His creation, marriage is His intellectual property. He has a Patent on it. From a legal perspective, this means that reproduction of this property without His consent  is illegal and punishable by law. The only difference is that God won’t come and sue you; Besides He is the judge, the jury and the executioner. 

Currently there is a commercial by Communications Commission of Kenya (CCK) running on local TV stations on fake phones where several people claim to be some guy called ‘Mark Juma Mutambo’.  The part where this ‘chick’ sounds like a guy still haunts me. Those in agreement say I. The point CCK is trying to make here is, if you are using a fake phone, you might pay for criminal activities committed by someone using a phone with a similar IMEI number or something worse.

Something very common with fake products is the way they are packaged. In fact, one of the greatest marketing skills is to understand that people judge a book by its cover, so make the cover look good.  And makers of fake products know this. They make the product look exactly like the genuine one but the service you get is very poor, plus the product’s is short lived and can get you into trouble. 

Since creation we have invented our own types of marriages (arrangements) some based on lust, the pressure to give our parents grand children, to gain status in the society, unintended motherhood or fatherhood or some other good, bad or ugly reason.  Like the fake phones, we have made our own fake batteries and fake chargers to keep the marriage alive and working. The truth is Marriage was created by God and only He can sustain it. He is its author, its battery, its charger and its life.

Don’t be mistaken, I am not talking about a church marriage here, I know you are already prepared to dish me with a list of couples who got married in church and their marriage is falling if not already failed. The point I am trying to make here is, you cannot ignore God’s guide on relationships and marriage and have healthy relationships.  If you are looking for a good relationship, starting a new one, already in a great one or you are in tears, now you now know where and who to look to. God has interest in sustaining everything he created. He is Faithful; He never starts what He cannot finish.  He has very special interests in our relationships with each other as well as His relationship with us. You mention relationships and you have gotten His attention.  Lastly don’t die alone, talk to someone, we were created for each other.